Seeking Female Percussionist in Nashville, Tennessee For Sale

seeking Female with percussion skills who can also sing harmonies and backing vocals.
we will consider you no matter what sort of percussion you normally play...whether it's a full kit, or just a snare, or an african drum like a dumbek, or if you can simply beat a stick on a coffee can.
if ur female and can play percussion and sing, then plz msg me.
these other characteristics are also VERY important...you should also have:
1) an extremely "interesting" and attractive appearance and vibe. (weird is cool.)
2) a great SENSE OF HUMOR and outgoing personality.
3) at least some knowledge of these artists: Cake, Rusted Root, Neil Young, Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, David Bowie.
4) an ability to thrive OUTSIDE any box, esp the Nashville country music box.
Pay per gig will start at $80.00
Thanks!